Falcon Spicy!

So I had an idea. I mixed cayenne peppers into a garlic mix and set it out in the woods, thinking it would lure the Eagle around and upset its stomach or something. Unfortunately it was eaten first by a deer, maybe some rabbits, so I never got the chance to see what happened. I've been doing the same thing every day for the last two weeks, and some animal always ate it first. I tried it myself to see what's so good about it. Blech.

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Falcon Garlic!

Apparently the Eagle LOVES garlic. It loves it a lot. After taking the three cloves I offered it it FOLLOWED ME HOME AND TOOK ALL MY OTHER GARLIC. Along with my roof. And then it set my house on fire. It was only a small fire and I managed to put it out with the fire extinguisher, but goddamn. I'm never buying garlic again. Now, as any hotblooded American would, I felt like punching it for stealing my garlic, but it turns out that a sixteen-day hike in the woods and then a four-day sprint back home is really exhausting, so I just managed to fall on my carpet.

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Falcon Awesome!

NOTE TO SELF: THE EAGLE DOES NOT LIKE IT WHEN YOU PUNCH IT.

That's right. I punched that bastard in the face. Smashed it a whole new asshole. IN ITS FACE. Sure, it didn't last long, but the fact remains that I DID it. Sure, I may not have any use of my hand for the next couple of months, but the fact remains that I DID it. Sure, I may have burned down a whole forest in the process, but the fact remains that I DID it.

Next up: Seeing if it likes garlic.

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Falcon Post!

I'm ready to take this thing down. The world's got enough trouble as it is without a monster wreaking havoc. I say, we punch it in its big, blank face. Simple as that.

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